Finding Something To Live For
by AwesomeAstronaut
Summary: Walking Dead AU but not a crossover. UKUS (one-sided), RusAme, PruCan, and GerIta. Includes memory loss. Rating for blood, gore, character death, and things of that sort. Please R&R I love feedback and would appreciate anything you have to say.
1. Chapter 1

**I know I shouldn't start another story when I'm not finished with the first one but this idea kept nagging at me so I'm just going to get it done. This in AU where they're humans and it takes place in the Walking Dead universe but not a crossover because they're on the west coast so they never meet any of the characters. Also, Alfred has memory loss and was in a relationship with Arthur before he lost it so be prepared UKUS (mostly one-sided) and PruCan just because I love that pairing. I'm a multishipper so feel free to suggest pairings. Warning: Not for the faint of heart, I use detailed descriptions. I have a large vocabulary and enjoy using it. Sorry I'm not funny... Now on to the story!**

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Waking up was strange for the young blonde. His body was stiff and sore, all of his muscles protesting their prolonged dormancy, and his tongue was dry and heavy in his mouth. He sat up causing a tingling sensation to run through his body as his blood flow was restored and looked around him at the simple room.

The room probably could have been considered cozy at one point except for the thick air of abandonment that hung over everything, accompanied by an unearthly quiet. The lights on the ceiling were all dark and appeared to have been that way for quite a while and the cloud-obscured light streaming through the dusty window panes cast everything in a grey shadow.

The blonde managed to stand, although his legs quivered beneath the stress of his weight as they tried to readjust to the task. His skin was ashen and pale, tight on his gaunt, emaciated form from the time spent not moving in the bed. Despite the long period of rest his blue eyes were sunken with dark circles underneath. He was dressed simply, a pair of jeans secured around his waist by a brown leather belt, a blue graphic shirt, and and a pair of dog tags hanging from his neck.

He tried to think of why he was here but for some reason he couldn't come up with anything. He knew the basics: he's Alfred F. Jones, nineteen years old, and a pilot in the U.S. Air Force but everything else was a blur. His entire life had disappeared except for the unimportant details. He could remember every house he had lived in but he had no idea who he had lived with or who his family members were. Half of his life was gone but he couldn't tell what was missing. He wasn't even sure what type of person he was before but putting those thoughts aside, he chose to focus on the situation before him.

Once his muscles had readjusted, Alfred began to walk around the building in hopes of finding other people but to his dismay the building was completely vacated and from what he could tell it had been abandoned quickly. Fallen items had just been left on the ground and furniture had been thrown aside haphazardly leaving the place in a state wreck. None of the switches worked so he was forced to wander in semi-darkness but eventually he made his way back to his room.

Alfred looked around the room and was happy to find a dark green bag with his last name sewn onto it. Looking through the bag he found survival supplies such as matches that had been coated in wax to make them waterproof, a hunting knife, a book on edible plants, and some non-perishable foods. He slung the bag on his back and threw on a thick coat he had found in the closet to keep him warm against the cold December air. After having everything he would need, the blonde teenager made his way through the hallways of the building and out into the parking lot covered with a thick layer of snow.

He had originally hoped to walk around until he could find someone but now he could tell that wasn't going to be possible. The building was a small ski resort and he was somewhere up in the mountains, no doubt miles away from any town where he could get help. With a sigh he resolved to make his way through the forest in hopes of finding the ranger station that he knew was nearby and hopefully get help from there.

The forest was thick with the assortment of pines local to the southern Oregon area and a variety of ferns and other underbrush. Alfred made his way through easily enough in his combat boots as he looked around for any sign of the ranger station that he knew was somewhere in this area but also made sure to keep his eye out for anyone who could tell him what was going on. As he trekked through the forest, the thick coverage of pines sheltering him from the snow beginning to fall, he came up with a reason for the abandonment of the ski resort.

There must have a blizzard so they had all the people evacuated from the resort and sent home, but that didn't explain the general disarray of the building and if that was the reason why was he left there? Every answer he could think of ended up just leading him to more questions and so he continued to ponder. All of the solutions he managed to come up with had a flaw so he set those thoughts aside and focused on finding the station.

Eventually he happened upon a clearing in the trees with a small cabin decorated with the forest ranger emblem. Despite his relief at seeing the station he tread carefully. The door was hanging open carelessly and no light could be seen coming from inside the small cabin. Alfred pulled out the hunting knife, trusting his instincts that there was something off, and slowly approached. "Is anyone there?" he asked into the darkness as he pushed the door open cautiously, knife still at hand.

After waiting for a minute or so with no answer he entered the cabin and almost slipped on a pool of dark liquid that he recognized as blood. Despite the blood on the floor there was nobody in sight so the blonde carefully made his way around the cabin to the are that was the kitchen where he found the body lying on the ground. It was a man around somewhere in his thirties and he was wearing a forest ranger uniform now stained dark red. Alfred began to move away from the corpse but was immediately brought back to it when he heard movement. Kneeling down, he tried to help the ranger to his feet but ended up yelling in shock when the ranger grabbed at his arm and leaned forward to bite him. Both went falling to the ground, Alfred pinned beneath the weight of the ranger trying to grab at him and the knife had slid away away from him on the hard wood floor.

The blonde used his forearm to keep his attacker at bay but gravity wasn't on his side and at the close proximity he could see the tell tale signs of rot on the other along with dried blood crusted around the creatures mouth. Keeping his attacker's face away from his own with his left arm Alfred reached out desperately with his right hand hoping to grab the knife but this movement caused the other to come closer. Finally, his hand closed around leather wrapped steel and he brought the knife up plunging into the side of the ranger's skull.

The heavier man went limp and Alfred pushed the body off of himself and pulled the blood splattered knife out of his head. Still breathing heavily, he stood up using the nearby counter top for support as he looked at the cadaver. His mind was a blur, trying to make sense of what had just happened. "Holy hell..." was all he could manage before sinking onto the floor. It was going to be a long day...


	2. Chapter 2

**Here's another chapter and I'd just like to say thank you to Carlos de Citron, NekoMushi, and Herr Benzedrine for their amazing reviews. Reading those made my day and it makes me happy to write another chapter. This one is going to start off differently than the last chapter, focusing on Arthur, Gilbert, and Matthew instead of Alfred so I hope you enjoy! Also, I read over it this time and corrected all the spelling and grammar errors.  
**

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Arthur looked around cautiously before giving his two companions a nod and stepping out into the street which was mostly empty aside from a few abandoned cars and discarded items. It was amazing to think that only a couple of weeks could change could change a place so much. Ashland used to be filled with people walking around, enjoying the beautiful scenery the city had to offer but now it was empty and forsaken just like all the neighboring towns in the valley.

Arthur had originally come to Ashland to study literature at Southern Oregon University. It helped that Ashland was also home to Oregon Shakespeare Festival so he could see plays to his heart's content, but there would be no more plays and no more craft fairs held at Lithia Park. Everything was gone now, and he was stuck traveling with his former roommate, Gilbert, and Matthew, Alfred's twin.

Gilbert Beilschmidt was an albino transfer student from Germany (though he insists that he's Prussian) that decided the larger more popular campuses the States had to offer weren't "awesome" enough for his tastes so he chose SOU and got roomed with Arthur. Despite his more annoying tendencies and off-putting arrogant attitude Gilbert wasn't wasting his time at the college. If he wanted to get something done you could count on it being finished with a perfection that was almost unnatural. The main problem was getting him motivated to do something. Although he became well known around the school for being a player all of those rumors ceased when he entered a relationship with Matthew.

Alfred's older twin, Matthew Williams, is a generally quiet and shy Canadian. Although he and Alfred are twins he grew up in Canada with his mother after their parents divorced so he also took her last name for his own. Eventually Matthew ended up moving to the States and going to high school with his brother so when the time came for college he enrolled at SOU while his brother joined the Air Force. Because of his quiet nature, Matthew usually went unnoticed by those around him except for when Gilbert found him making pancakes one morning. After a while the two entered a steady relationship and despite the rumors he had heard Gilbert was loyal (with the threat of a hockey stick hanging over his head).

Brushing aside any distracting thoughts, Arthur stayed low and kept close to his companions as they made there way through the back streets of the city. Each of them had there respectable weapons to help protect themselves against the undead: Gilbert's was a sword that he had managed to smuggle into their dorm room (god knows why), Matthew's was a hockey stick, and Arthur's was a bat he had found in a sports shop. They were the only ones (still living) left in the city which had it's pros and cons.

Any supplies they might need were easy pickings as long as there weren't to many Walkers around, but they also had no chance of rescue since the entire city was dead. Despite this, things still weren't easy. The entire valley was filled with nothing but the walking dead and supplies weren't going to last forever since the Walkers would eat anything they could sink their rotting teeth into. So they resolved to get what they could and go up into the mountains where there should be less of them. They had maps of the surrounding area and had already gathered plenty of hiking and survival supplies but they still needed to get food that they wouldn't have to worry about expiring and they needed better weapons. Hockey sticks, baseball bats, and swords are nice but they're not going to do much if you find yourself surrounded.

After going through the streets, only pausing to take care of a few stray Walkers (though Gilbert insisted on calling them zombies), they found themselves at a canned food store. After walking down the aisles to make sure the building was empty the three of them began to empty the shelves into their bags until they couldn't hold anymore and left the store, heading towards the edge of the city.

Truthfully, Arthur was glad to be busy and have a distraction from his more bothersome thoughts. Alfred had come down to Ashland to visit while he was on leave for the Air Force which had made Arthur happier than he would ever admit to the obnoxious blonde. The first time he met Alfred he had found the younger to be obnoxious, rude, and stubborn but he enjoyed his company all the same. Soon enough the two had began dating (to no one's obvious surprise) but Alfred ended up getting stationed at a base in northern Washington. Arthur would've been happy to spend all his time with Alfred but like the stubborn idiot he is he decided to go to Mount Ashland on a whim and go snowboarding. Now Alfred was gone, and most likely dead.

"Hey, boring vone." Gilbert said pulling Arthur out of his silence, "Vhy are you so quiet?"

"It's nothing." Arthur assured, preferring not to talk to the albino about his feelings. Gilbert wasn't the most sensitive person you could hope for but that was something he had gotten used to.

"Vhatever," he said, losing interest, "hope your not afraid of bugs because ve are sleeping on ze ground tonight." And Gilbert's prediction ended up being true when later that night they set up a small camp and slept on the ground. Although the thick coverage of pines made it hard for them to move as a group it gave them shelter from the snow and wind, for which they were thankful.

"Vhy does it have to be so damn cold here?" Gilbert complained as they all laid on the ground.

"It's not too bad." Matthew assured softly. Instead of arguing with him though Gilbert just nodded in agreement. We all knew that the weather was likely to get colder anyways.

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After a week or so of hiking we were getting close to a point on our map that was labeled as a ranger station which gave us all high hopes. If the station was left untouched we had a chance of resupplying and we might even be able to hold out there for a while. Another factor that motivated the group was the possibility of a firearm cabinet. Most ranger station had firearms in the event of an emergency and if they were lucky this station would have one that hadn't already been raided. Arthur had never shot a gun in his life but both Gilbert and Matthew had multiple times and were willing to teach him how.

On their way up they had stopped at the ski resort on the mountain in hope that they could find a sign of what had happened to Alfred but their efforts were in vain and they were only met with an empty building and no answers. Arthur still wanted to hope that Alfred was alive and well but quite frankly hope was dying in this world, just like everything else.

Once they were in view of the cabin they stopped in the trees near the edge of the clearing. The door was open and the lights dark which couldn't be bad but wasn't exactly what they were hoping for. "We should all go just in case there's a Walker." Matthew suggested to which they agreed with a silent nod. Gilbert moved in first with his sword unsheathed, followed by Matthew with his hockey stick and finally Arthur with his bat. Being careful to avoid the blood on the ground the three started on the right side of the cabin, making sure it was empty, before splitting up and checking the rest of the station.

Arthur moved towards the kitchen, holding the bat at a ready, looking suspiciously at the trail of smeared blood leading to the kitchen. Once in the kitchen he noticed two bodies: one was a ranger laying face down on the ground with a noticeable stab wound in the side of its head while the other was slumped in the corner wearing a jacket with the hood pulled up and with blood on it's hands. Arthur immediately raised his bat as it began to stir but almost dropped it in surprise when he saw unforgettable sky blue eyes looking up at him.


	3. Chapter 3

**I'm so happy you guys have no idea. I love you all so much you have no idea! Once again I'd like to give a special thanks to Carlos de Citron, NekoMushi, and Herr Benzedrine and also to and two anonymous reviewers. You guys make me so happy that I'm smiling at my computer the entire time I write this. Also, in response to your reviews, yes Gilbert and his accent are awesome and don't worry about Al. Artie would never be able to kill him and I'm not sure about a rival love interest yet but I was thinking Ivan. I'd feel kinda awkward about putting Al in the situation of Lori though since I don't really like her, at all. I don't know but tell me what you guys think Thank you all so much and I'm going to make sure that I proof read this chapter before putting it up. I love all of you and want to give you hugs! Also, I re-wrote some of the rthings in this chapter because I didn't like where it was going. How am I supposed to have another love interest without a possessive, jealous Arthur?**

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Alfred looked up at the figure above him and noticed the bat in its hands. Before the person in front of him could lower the bat Alfred tackled them and pinned them to the ground. They struggled for a while but Alfred proved to be stronger and had the other man pinned to the ground when he felt cold metal pressed against his neck. "Leave him alone und I von't cut your throat open." a thickly accented voice raised his hands in surrender and stood up allowing the man he had been pinning to the ground to get up.

"Gilbert, wait." Arthur said and walked towards the man he had previously thought to be dead. Arthur pulled back the hood and nearly choked when he saw the unmistakeable face of his boyfriend. "Alfred." he whispered before wrapping his arms around the taller blonde and hugging him. He was pretty sure he could he could hear Matthew's breathing catch as he gripped onto Gilbert. "I thought you were dead."

Arthur's mirth was short lived though when Alfred brought up his arms and pushed him away. "What are you talking about?" Arthur could feel his heart sink with those words. "I just woke up today and next thing I know corpses are getting up and trying to bite me." No, this wasn't real. Alfred must be joking like he usually does. There's no way he could just completely forget about their relationship like that. He refused to believe it.

He must have started crying because the look on Alfred's face turned to one of pity. "I'm sorry but I don't know who you are... I know that I lost some of my memory but I'm just not sure what I lost."

Arthur angrily wiped his tears away, annoyed by his own weakness. What did he expect? He shouldn't be crying like this since Alfred was alive after all, right? "S-sorry," he apologized as regained his composure, "I shouldn't have broken down like that. It's not your fault you can't remember."

Alfred nodded, "So what's going on? This guy started moving around so I tried to help him up but then he tried to bite me."

Gilbert smirked, still holding onto Matthew to comfort the Canadian, before answering, "It's ze zombies of course. Vhat else vould it be? Zhey are valking corpses after all."

"You're kidding?" Alfred asked, zombies were only in video games and movies. At least he hoped so.

Arthur sighed at the albino's response, "I do not understand why you insist on calling them that Gilbert... We call them Walkers, but yes, they are walking corpses and if you get bitten than you die and become one. The only way to kill them is to destroy the brain."

The young blonde nodded again looking up at all of them, "So, uh, how do we all know each other?"

Arthur opened his mouth to reply but was beaten once again by that damned German. "Vell, Birdie here is mein boyfriend und you are his younger twin bruder. I vas ze roommate of eyebrows ozher zhere und you too met and started dating." Arthur had been hoping to leave out the small detail of their relationship but Alfred didn't seem perturbed in the slightest.

"So I'm gay?" he asked.

"Ja, like ze rainbow." responded Gilbert. Arthur wanted nothing more than to slap that stupid, arrogant smirk of the self-proclaimed Prussian's face but Alfred just shrugged and took it in stride. "Anyvays," the albino continued, "ve are trying to find ze firearms und any ozher supplies ve might need."

The American smiled, reminding them all of who the person in front of them was, "Alright, I've got some stuff in my bag to that can help us out, and a book on edible plants in the area so that should be useful." With that said they all split up once again and searched through the station for anything they could use. When they found the firearm cabinet each of the took a 22-caliber pistol along with a few extra clips of ammo.

Arthur would never admit it but he was crushed. He had been more than willing to accept that Alfred was dead but to see him alive and not be able to be with him was like torture. His heart had swelled when he saw Alfred, alive and standing in front of him, but all of that was shattered when Alfred pushed him away. It hurt to be able to see him but not to be with him. They had never been shy about their feelings for each even when in public so having to keep his distance and knowing that Alfred didn't return his feelings was like salt in fresh wounds. Arthur only hoped that he could rebuild their relationship.

Matthew was caught in a similar state of distress. His annoying, obnoxious little brother couldn't even remember who he was much less all the memories they had shared growing up. Although he didn't want to come across as brooding he couldn't help but feel hurt by what had happened. Trying not to hold onto the negatives, Matthew resolved to do what he could to help Alfred remember what had happened and help him be happy again. He had always been able to tell things about his brother that most didn't notice and although his chatting with Gilbert seemed easy-going the Canadian could tell the smiles and laughs were forced and somewhat awkward.

"It's kinda weird to just wake up and find out that why you were sleeping the zombie apocalypse happened. I could've gotten eaten while I was sleeping dude!"

"Ja, gut thing you veren't zhough. Mein awesomeness can only take us so far so it vill be nice to have somevone vith military training." Gilbert agreed. He had always liked Alfred fairly well even though the American's awesomeness wasn't as great as his own they got along well.

"Yeah, I still remember everything I learned at the Air Force Academy but my life is just kind of a blur. Weird huh?"

Gilbert nodded before bringing his attention to Arthur, "Hey, eyebrows. Stop it vith ze moping around. You're boyfriend is right here in front of me und all your doing is staring at ze ground." Gilbert never understood why Arthur went about things the way did. If you were upset then tell someone and get over it. There was no point in holding onto the past if those memories would only hurt you. The important part was to keep going so that's what Gilbert did, only bothering to carry the memories that made him happy.

"Shut it. I'm not moping." Arthur argued. He wasn't in the mood to deal with the albino today (not like he ever was). Why Gilbert insisted upon irritating him like this was a mystery to him.

"He's kinda right dude." the American pointed out, "You've been silent this entire time. It's not like I'm gone. I'm still me I just forgot some things. I may not be in a relationship with you anymore but that doesn't mean I disappeared."

Arthur looked at Alfred somewhat shocked. The younger blonde was right. He had been acting like Alfred was dead. "Sorry, I didn't realize..."

"It's okay, just chill out some, 'kay?" After that Arthur tried to act normal around Alfred, like he had when they first met. Even if they might not be in a relationship he would still be able to see Alfred and talk to him. That should be enough, right?

Arthur let his thoughts wander around that topic before he found an answer to his question. No, it wasn't enough. It was living hell to know that the person he loved and cared about did not return those feelings. He didn't expect Gilbert to understand but he was sure Matthew felt close to how he did.

All of them spent the rest of the evening discussing and looking at the maps and trying to figure out a safe place that they could stay at. The ranger station was helpful but it wasn't somewhere they could stay forever and they needed better access to supplies. Inevitably their topics began to wander and they began telling stories in hopes of helping Alfred's memory. But like everything else in this world it seemed pointless.


	4. Chapter 4

**Sorry I haven't updated in a while. I feel like a horrible author. I wanted to update sooner but school has been drowning me with work. I guess that's what I get for choosing AP. Anyways, this next part is important if you read the last chapter when I first put it up. I tried to re-do it in a way that would send you guys alerts but it might not have worked completely. I was pretty rushed when I first wrote the chapter and so I screwed some things up and I decided to fix them. To NekoMushi: You're right about the whole being rushed, it was my last day with a computer at my disposal so I messed some things up but I love the feedback and thank you so much. To Carlos de Citron: I thought the same exact thing with the rainbow and I'm glad you like it. Gilbert's going to be like the Daryl of my story. To Herr Benzedrine: Yeah, Lori really irritated me but not as much as Andrea does right now (does she have a thing for sleeping with all the villains of the show?). And you should revoke my title as update goddess. I am not worthy. To TobiTheNinjaKitten: I'm happy you're enjoying it :D. I love all my reviewers so much and this story is doing way better than I expected originally. Also, tell me if you want there to be a different rival love interest because if not I'm going with Russia, da?Thank you!**

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The group of three woke up to the pale sunlight coming in through the windows, although Gilbert was already wide awake because he had been the last one on watch. As Alfred watched the sunrise over the snowy peaks to the east while sitting on the small balcony he allowed himself to contemplate the things that were happening. Sunrises used to be beautiful, a symbol of new beginnings and fresh starts. Now it seemed to be the sign of false hope and ruined dreams.

Alfred was no stranger to hardship. He went through military training and other difficulties that occurred in life but this was different. Nothing was different but everything had changed. He knew what he was thinking didn't make sense but he was confused. For him this was the only life he would know. He knew it wasn't supposed to be this way but he also didn't have any memories to back himself up.

There was also the issue of his "new" companions. Something in the back of his mind told him to act cheerful around them so they wouldn't freak out but all his smiles were forced and he felt like he was living a lie. As Alfred went through his jumbled thoughts, trying to reorganize them he had a sudden realization though. Not _all_ of his memories were gone. This discovery was brought on by something quite simple in truth though. Without even realizing it the sunset had reminded him of a time when he was camping with his older twin in Canada.

The thought had appeared unbidden and at first it didn't seem significant, just a small strand dangling in front of him with no particular importance but as soon as he followed that thread he realized that he had other memories. Ones from his childhood and even some all the way up to his first two years of high school (which had been hell).

With a sudden burst of energy and enthusiasm he ran down the stairs and tackled his Canadian twin in a hug when he saw him, "Mattie! I remember that time when were camping in Canada with Mom when we were nine and you got mad at me because I went running off and you chased but then we both got poison oak! I also remember when you started going to high school with me and the teachers would always confuse us with each other!"

Said Canadian had nearly fallen over when his brother had attacked him with a familiar bone-crushing embrace and started letting out memory after memory. Matthew happily returned his brother's hug and smiled, "I'm so glad... I thought we had lost you Al. Arthur's going to be ecstatic.

Fuck. Alfred hadn't thought of that. "We can't tell Arthur." he stated.

"What? Why?" he asked noticing his brother's suddenly changed attitude.

"I only remember everything up to my first two years of high school... I guess I never really lost them, my mind was just all jumbled yesterday, ya know?"

Matthew sighed, he was glad to have his brother back but he also felt a pang of guilt because although he was happy that his brother remembered him he knew that it was eating Arthur up inside. "We still have to tell him. We can't just leave him out of it and the only way we're going to survive through this hell is if we trust each other."

"Yeah... You're right. Guess I should listen to ya more often."

"You should, but I know you aren't going to." Matthew said with a sigh. "Let's inform the other's."

The blonde, bespectacled twins made their way to the entry where Arthur and Gilbert were loitering with their bags of scavenged equipment. "Zhere you guys are. Ve need to get ze move on vhile it's early so ve'll have a place to stay."

"Don't worry dude, we're all good to go. Plus, I got my memory back except for the past couple of years so that's goin' good."

"We do not have all morning so we should get moving. You never know what's out there." Arthur stated, leaning against the wall.

"Yeah, yeah let's get goin'." The small group left the station and began to make their way south across mountainous landscape, eventually reaching the freeway that wound up the mountain like a viper and proceeded to follow it. The going was slow and treacherous from the build-up of ice and snow making it nearly impossible to travel any great distance, but the snow also meant that there were no cars on the road and less chances of Walkers. It was frigid, it was bleak, it was hazardous, it was pernicious. However, they carried on, pushed by nothing but their hardened resolutions.

As the sun stretched along the point where the mountains meet the sky in an eternal embrace and then finally disappeared the icy air began penetrating through their layers of clothing. Their was a stretch of time when everything was cast in an absolute darkness that left everything around them indiscernible but when the opalescent moon peaked shyly over the horizon the landscape became cast in the pale, shimmering light. The moonlight brought about a sense of ease to the group that came with being able to see the winding asphalt stretched out before encountered a few stray Walkers on their journey up the slope but they were dispatched expediently and quietly; the guns with their limited supply of ammunition were to be saved for an emergency.

The moon was at its apex when the band came to the small town of Mount Ashland and decided to rest up before going over the Siskiyou pass. The area of thee Rogue Valley is surrounded by various mountains; to the south you would have to travel over the Siskiyou pass before going through a stretch of mountains that finally leads to Yreka where the next valley begins. In order for the group to even hope of reaching the valley they would first have to stock up on provisions and any other supplies they would need. The sojourn was sure to be long and treacherous even with a decent amount of supplies and the group was taking no chances.


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey there! Here's chapter five, now with more feels! Herr Benzedrine: It's located in southern Oregon and northern California on the west coast of America. And thank you for being a nice, forgiving person! I gift you with internet cookies and pie! (Because the cake is a lie.) Be prepared for a certain Russian to make an appearance too. Hopefully there will be more updates during spring break.**

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Arthur was sulking. Of course, if anyone confronted him about aforementioned sulking he would deny it immediately and probably give them a glare with enough malice to make them leave him be. However, that did not change that he was indeed Briton had chosen to take up the rear of there procession up the mountain which gave him the opportunity to think over everything that had occurred the past few days.

First and foremost was the issue of Alfred. Although the blonde was quite obviously alive and walking not too far ahead of him he still felt detached. It was almost as if the American had been replaced by a shell that appeared the same but was a shell nonetheless.

This Alfred was not the same as his Alfred.

His Alfred would be smiling and laughing, would be pushing them forward, would be looking for a solution, would be chatting constantly. This Alfred was taciturn, seldom smiled, and when he did the smiles were nothing like his dazzling grin from before. The smiles were awkward and forced. They didn't contain reassurance, or glee, or obnoxious enthusiasm. This Alfred was something he had never seen and it perturbed him.

It was like traveling with a complete stranger but worse. The personality, the mannerisms, they were all different from the Alfred he had known (and maybe loved if such a thing could exist in the forsaken world he faced). This wasn't his Alfred and the mere fact that they looked the same impaled him to the core. This only proved Arthur's belief that if there was a god it was cruel and unforgiving, letting you believe and hope only to have it snatched away from you or worse. It would continuously dangle the evidence of your failure in your face.

Arthur was relieved to be behind everyone as he felt tears of anguish, of pent up frustration, of loathing stream silently and tauntingly down his face. _You failed._ They seemed to be saying. _You failed and now you're all alone._ He whiped away the tears angrily, gritting his teeth against the unwanted reminders. He was being weak and such vulnerability in this world meant death.

The Briton had always heard of people having their heart broken but didn't have the slightest idea of how it would feel. He understood now though. He could feel the stifling, painful tightness in his chest and it was nearly unbearable. _This is what my heart breaking feels like._ He also wondered bitterly if the sensation would have the mercy to end his miserable or if it would just leave him to wallow in agony. Of course it wouldn't though. It wanted to suffer.

With a sigh, Arthur realized that they were almost to their intended destination and pushed aside the thoughts which were weighing heavily down on him. If you had asked him before he would have considered such scenery beautiful and wonderous but the only words that came to mind at the moment were bleak and unforgiving. The world around them was altering quickly and if they had any hope of surviving they would have to conform with its fierce demands.

The town of Mount Ashland consisted of a few residential homes and lodges for people heading to the ski resort. There were also some shops that could have been considered amicable in their time but were now abandoned and slowly becoming dilapidated from the abscense of matinence and the weather extremities. All of the buildings and streets were under a foot or so of white that covered the landscape in a frozen blanket. Most of snow remained unbroken from the lack of traffic (and living for that matter) but there were areas where a stray animal had trodden, leaving evidence of its was cast in the dark greys and blacks of nightfall giving it the appearance of being covered in ash. The ash of world that had burned away, but this world was no phoenix and if anything wrose from the ashes it would be the walking dead.

They meandered down the off ramp of Interstate-5 and into the town, not concerning themselves with any Walkers. Because the Walkers were already dead and didn't have any blood flow they froze in the severe winter that was customary of the region. However, when the spring melt arrived it would thaw them out, allowing them to roam free once again.

Silence was pevalent among the landscape, accompanied by the forlorness that seemed to have settled itself over the world. It was frozen and abandoned and lifeless but there was a sense of security for the moment. The four whipped their eyes forward in alarm as the defeaning sound of splitting wood resounded throughout the mountain. An agitated silence fell, adding to the anxiety of the situation before them.

On the other side of the small town Ivan Braginsky had just destroyed a wooden door with the rusted iron pipe he always carried. His younger sister, Natalia, stood to the side; her hand never strayed far from her knife as her eyes darted to and fro, taking in every detail. They both wore the thick adornments that suited the bleak and barren land of their ancestry and protected them, much to the weather's chagrin.

Before the world had gone to hell Ivan had always found something to smile about but now he could not bring himself to express anything akin to joy. Happiness was no longer welcome in this world, thus it was forsaken and forgotten. To survive, one had to adapt. "Is there something wrong seystra?" he questioned.

"It doesn't feel right... It's too quiet." the silvery blonde unfurled her slender digits before clenching them once again in anticipation.

"Don't let it bother you too much. Let us go inside and see what we can find, da?" With a nod in response, the siblings entered building. The stench of decay hung heavy in the air, made worse by the suprising warmth in the building. The putrid stink was as stifling as it was abhorrent, obliging the couple to shield there lungs from the pungent odor.

As they traversed through the building the stench became stronger and led them to a partially decayed corpse with it's jaw forcibly blown away by the gun in it's lap. Blood and brain matter decorated the ceiling and nearby wall in a gory masterpiece of death. The semi-decomposed state of the cadaver added to abomination of the whole scene; the pale, yellowish skin stretched gauntly over brittle bones that had pierced through the deteriorating cover in some place. The eyes of the carcass where visible, the eyelids having rotted away already, and upturned as if in contempletion.

"Go search the other rooms. I'll investigate here." Ivan told his sister who silently took leave to fulfill his request. With the pipe in hand he advanced toward the remains and lifted away the gun, grimy pieces of skin and atrophied muscle sticking to it. The repulsive sight was enough to make his stomach churn but he pushed away the feeling and whiped the firearm clean on the upholstery of the couch.

It was a simple shotgun, forty-five caliber with two or three extra shells, but he would only use it for an emergency. He was brought out of his thoughts as he examined the firearm by a distinctly American voice. "Set down the gun and turn around." Ivan complied and found himself facing a young man with unkempt blond hair and vibrant blue eyes that contradicted their blanched surroundings holding a pistol.

The blonde visibly relaxed and lowered his weapon, "Sorry 'bout that, ya never know what's going to be out there. You alone?"

"Nyet," Ivan analyzed the teen in front of him who somehow managed to smile carelessly, "I am traveling with my sister."

"Oh, I'm traveling with my brother and two others so maybe we can all help each other out. You can pick up your gun by the way."

"Spaisbo," Ivan picked up the discarded firearm, suspicious of the other's warm behavior.

"Looks like the dude capped himself. About a week ago too, judging by the smell."

"Da, it is unfortunate. Where are you and your companions heading?"

"Northern California, hopefully. We're gonna try and stock up here before we head out." The American was now leaning against te cracked drywall with his hands in the pockets of his dark leather jacket.

"My sister and I were hoping to travel in that direction. There doesn't seem to be much here that we can work with."

The blonde flashed him a bright grin that would have put Hollywood stars to shame, if any were still alive that is. "Sweet, we can totally travel together. I'm Alfred F. Jones."

"Ivan Braginsky and my sister is Natalia." As if evoked forth by the uterrence of her name, Natalia seemingly materialized from no where and strode to stand beside her brother. Her stern, critical eyes analyxed the newcomer before she turned to her brother and spoke to him in hushed Russian.

"Alfred?" The name was barely spoken and almost went unnoticed but the blonde being called for was no stranger to the quiet nature of his older twin and replied in his customary loud tones. "In here Mattie. I found some other survivors."

The nearly imperceptible Canadian appeared beside his brother and looked over the two newcomers, "We'll have to talk about it to Gilbert and Arthur... You guys can come with us for now if you would like."

Eventually, the four left the house along with the decay that clung to it and ended up meeting with Gilbert and Arthur who were currently trying to find a working car. Alfred tag teamed with Arthur, helping Gilbert with the mechanics while Matthew and Arthur began to question Ivan and Natalia. "Have you met any other survivors?" the Canadian asked timidly.

"Da, but they were not so nice... Most people have gone crazy."

"Figures." Arthur commented bitterly. "Are you two willingly to work with us? We will watch your backs but you have to watch ours too."

Natalia spoke now, "Brother and I will work with you. We already disscussed our options and it would most likely benefit both of our groups."

As they discussed the matters and came to an agreement Gilbert stood watch while Alfred crouched down and used a pair of wire cutters that had been discarded haphazardly during the initial chaos that had occurred at the beggining of the outbreaks to cut through the debilitated padlock securing the tin garage door. When Alfred heard the tell-tale sign of cut metal he handed the wire cutters to Gilbert and removed the padlock. "Cross your fingers." With a screech of protest from the rusted tracks of the garage door, the blonde threw it open and took a step back to survey the reward for his efforts.

Gilbert let out alow whistle as he admired what they had before them. "Someone sure did love zhere trucks."

"I think I'm in love myself." It a monstrous, forest green Ford F-250 pick-up truck with obvious signs of use. The bed of the truck had been installed with a tool box that revealed various forms of equipment used for forestry. When they counted up everything in the truck they ended up with two hatchets of differrent sizes, a roll of industrial grade cable, pliers, three hunting knives, and various tools.

The duo scavenged the building and came up with the keys and some auto mechanic supplies. "Zhis zhing should be able to carry all of us."

"Definitely, were ya able to scrounge up some gas?"

"Ja, I have two extra containers filled vith gas but zhat's it."

Alfred moved to the driver's seat and turned the key in the ignition which brought the truck to life with a satisfying grumble. "Looks like this thing's got a full tank already so that'll make things easier on us. Actually," He toyed around with the controls some more, "this truck has _two _gas tanks and they're both full."

"If our luck holds out like zhis zhen ve might actually manage through vinter."

And maybe they will, but luck was a rare commodity and could only last for so long.

* * *

It was bitterly cold in the mountains as the truck rolled its way down the slick interstate. Ivan sat with Gilbert in the bed of the Ford, bundled up in their jackets and scavenged blankets. They had volunteered to clear out any hazards on the road if need be which led to the two of them sitting in the bed as the air whipped around them. "You are Gilbert, da?"

"Ja, zhat's me. Zhe vone zhat found you vas Alfred."

"I see." Ivan looked across the mountain peaks as the vehicle tilted and began it's descent toward the valley.

"Any ozher family?"

"I had an older sister but she didn't make it..."

"I understand. I can only hope zhat mein bruder is alright, for all zhe good it does."

"I'm sure he is alright." There was no response as the albino resolved to gaze towards the ground they were leaving behind them. Ivan examined his current partner; he was obviously tired but his crimson gaze held a steely determination that wasn't common among many. His form was somewhat scrawny but well muscled as he held onto the scabbard of the sword with the cross guard resting on his shoulder. The weapon was fairly simple but well made and kept. "If you do not mind me asking, where did you get your sword?"

"Oh, I inherited it. Mein vater gave it to me vhen I turned sixteen." A nostalgic smile crept onto his face. "It's been passed down zhe family for years und vas originally vielded by zhe leader of zhe Teutonic Knights."

"Interesting. My family history is very confusing and bloody however. It must be nice to have something like that, da?"

"It definitely helps out now. I'm glad I had it vhen zhings started going to hell."

"It's hard to believe everything fell apart so fast... So what are the others like?"

"Vell Arzhur, zhe vone vith zhe huge eyebrows, is a bit of a schtick in zhe mud so to speak. He vas dating Alfred but some stuff happened so Alfred has no memory of zhe past two years. He says it doesn't bozher him but he's a bad liar."

They continued to converse and by the time the sun began to lower itself beyond the horizon Ivan was contemplating what he had learned about his new companions. They had to end their journey for the day and chose to take up residence in a long abandoned vacationing home. Under the watchful eyes of the moon and stars the group drifted away into the realm of dreams and nightmares beyond the bounds of reality.


	6. Chapter 6

**Yay! More story writing! Herr Benzedrine: Yes, Katya died. I'm sorry but it had to be done (and I'll probably kill more characters). And Artie will most likely continue to break your heart but at lest Ivan can fix it, da? Yessss, all the Portal references. ****Oh, and thank you for continuing to be my reviewer. All my other reviewers magically disappeared but I still love them.** roti: Thanks for the review and I'm glad you like it. Hope I don't disappoint.  


* * *

The morning was pale and cold. Unwelcoming as always for those left alive in this world. However, this is not what awoke the inhabitants of the small ranch house.

Ivan was awoken by the scratching of fingernails on the musty glass panes of the door. There were trails of blackish red decay where the creature's fingers had been scratching and its eyes seemed to bulge out of it's cadaverous face covered with grime and gore. Patches of its skull could be seen where the skin and hair had been torn off by god knows what. As Ivan looked at the damned and lost creature in front of him he felt a strange mix of pity and hopelessness.

No doubt the monster before him was leading a pitiful existence, but he and the people he was with were trying to avoid the inexorable. Everything was dying and try as they might they were all going to die in the end. Ivan couldn't tell which was more pathetic, the monsters who were just a shell of existence or them for trying to resist what they can't stop.

With a sigh, he pushed open the door and the monster with it and held his pipe loosely. The corpse began to shuffle towards him but he paid it no mind as he examined the metal in his hand. The lead was dented in some places and rusty in others but it was nearly impossible to differentiate the rust from dried blood. The damned creature was know within arm's reach and with a well placed swing he cracked its skull open, blood and brain matter leaving a spattered trail across the siding of the small house.

"You alright dude?"

Ivan turned to see blonde American he had first met looking at him questioningly. "Da, I am alright. Just thinking."

"There's certainly a lot to think about nowadays. I'm definitely having trouble keeping up with everything."

"I would imagine, you lost your memory, correct?"

"Yeah, it's been strange." Alfred murmured as he gazed at the horizon. "Do you think it's worth it?"

The Russian was surprised by the comment and quickly analyzed the usually optimistic blonde. "Worth it? What exactly do you mean?"

"I'm not sure if anything is really worth living for anymore. I know I'm supposed to be the cheerful one that has no doubts and doesn't give up, but when I act like that I feel like I'm living even more of a lie. I wanted Matthew to be happy so I lied to him. All of them 'knew' me before but I'm not that guy any more and I can't bring myself to tell them."

"They said you remembered your childhood though."

"I bet they did, and they probably think I do." He let out a long sigh as the cloud strewn sky started getting lighter with the rising of the sun. "This 'Alfred' guy had a diary with pictures and everything. It was in the backpack I always carry around so at one point while they were sleeping I read it. I can tell you one thing for sure though, this 'Alfred' was completely happy-go-lucky. Not a care in the world. I can't live like that though."

"Why are you even telling me?"

"Because, you didn't know 'Alfred'. You don't have expectations of me." The teenage blonde kicked away the mangled corpse that had brought Ivan out in the beginning and sunk to the ground. "That Arthur guy is the worst of it. He always looks at me as if I murdered his boyfriend and am now wearing his skin as a suit. I don't even care if he hears me right now. Seriously, I'm not the Thing or a body snatcher so he can stop glaring at me all the time." He suddenly laughed and looked at Ivan. "It's kinda sad isn't it? I can't remember jack about myself but I can still make pop culture references. By the way, sorry I'm just dumping all of this on ya."

"It is no problem. It is nice to be trusted."

"Yeah, do you think you can keep what I said a secret for now? I want to tell them but I don't think now is the right time."

"Da, I understand."

"Thanks. I should probably try to get over my issues soon but I'm having some trouble."

"Do not worry about it right now. I believe we have more pressing matters."

"Yeah." The two of them went back in and began waking up the others for the next day of travel but Alfred's mind still wandered. He knew they expected him to be cheerful but it didn't help that pretending to be all cheerful made him feel like cheerfully wrenching his guts up. There was also the issue of constantly being glared at by a certain Englishman. Just a ghost in the shell. That's all he was to them. They wanted 'Alfred' but 'Alfred' was either sleeping or dead. Then another though occurred to him, one that almost made him laugh bitterly. Maybe he was 'Alfred' and they just never knew him in the first place. That would be interesting, wouldn't it? All of them waiting for something that wasn't real to come back. If that theory was true then someone should give him a Grammy or something for best actor.

Soon, they were leaving again. Heading down the empty forsaken road.

* * *

"Where are we?" Natalia asked, her brother was sitting in the back with Alfred so she couldn't talk to him. Instead, she resolved to find out more about her new companions.

"This is Lake Shasta and we're heading towards Redding right now. We'll probably stop there for the night before moving on." Matthew was the one that spoke while Gilbert drove and Arthur continued to sulk in his impenetrable sphere of brooding.

"Alright. Why is the one with the large eyebrows pouting?" Was it something someone said or did his face get stuck like that from childhood?

"I am _not_ pouting or sulking or brooding or being grumpy or any other synonym you people can conceive." The already present scowl became more pronounced as he glared at Natalia only to be greeted with indifference.

"If you have a problem you should at least admit it. I may want to marry my brother but at least I don't deny the fact that I do or that it is strange." That seemed to shut up the perpetually bitter blonde as he went back to glaring out the window as if each tree he saw had personally insulted him.

"Please don't mind Arthur. He's just upset over some stuff. Things haven't been the easiest." If Matthew spoke Arthur didn't acknowledge it.

"I know. I lost my sister."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. It wasn't your fault. It was those damned monsters' fault. I don't care what you call them but as far as I'm concerned they all deserve to be removed from existence." It hurt still. It hurt the most when she remembered the way Katyusha had smiled at her while she cried. Smiling and telling her it would be alright. Telling her not to cry anymore because they were okay and that's what mattered. Smiling as she instructed her own sister to end her life before she became a monster. She couldn't cry anymore though. No matter how much it aches because she had to be strong now. She had to persevere.

Matthew wasn't sure what caused the young girl's hatred for the living dead but he knew better than to open certain doors and just left it. He was lucky. For a while he had thought he lost his brother but now he had his twin with him. His only concern was over what laid for them ahead. Despite his nonchalant behavior Redding was more than a town to him. True, it was in the middle of a part of California no one really cared about but it was where his parent had moved after they had gotten back together. Matthew wasn't sure whether his anticipation was from hope that his parents were still alive, or horror for the inevitable truth.

"Fifteen minutes und ve vill be zhere."

As they got closer to the town Walkers became more frequent. Meandering aimlessly on stiff legs and occasionally dragging themselves along the ground. It seemed as if all the brightness had been sucked clean of the world and replaced with bleak decay. Everything was now in washed out hues, from clothing to signs to people.

"Hey Gilbert, do you think we could go to a specific address? There's something I need to check." Matthew knew it was foolish to hope but if his brother had survived maybe his parents would be alright too.

"Of course Birdie, just give me directions."

As the vehicle maneuvered it's way through town Alfred and Ivan continued to talk, paying no mind to their surroundings. "Looks like we reached our current destination."

"Yeah, I wonder where we're going though." Alfred commented as he looked around.

"Hard to say. I've never been down here. Not that I remember anyways. Supposedly I grew up south of here in the Bay Area."

"How long do you think you keep up your act? Wouldn't it be easier to just tell them the truth?"

"You don't know what it's like though. You didn't see the way they looked at me."


	7. Chapter 7

The building was silent like all those surrounding it. Like the entire town, the entire state, the entire country, the entire world. All silent. "I meant to ask you, why did you say you didn't remember the past two years if the diary has everything?"

"Hmm? That? Pretty simple actually. I don't want to pretend that I like Arthur. I might be able to pull off being Matthew's brother since he's actually my own flesh and blood but I don't think I can pretend to like Arthur. Even if I could I don't think I'd want to." As Alfred finished explaining the truck came to halt and everyone started filing out.

"I'm going to go in this house, can you come with me Al?" Matthew asked as he looked at the ominous structure that was once full of life and joy.

"Sure Mattie." The twins left towards the house while everyone began searching the surrounding neighborhood for any supplies.

Upon entering the building the twins could smell the putrid decay that they had become accustomed to but was stifling nonetheless. Matthew looked around the building, feeling twinges of pain and longing in his chest. He had visited his parents before but seeing everything left as it usually was only seemed to confirm his fears. "Is there something wrong Mattie?"

The words reflected concern but seemed horribly out of place. How could he not be feeling the same? This was their parents after all. "Y-yeah..." Maybe Arthur was more right than he had originally thought. Alfred was definitely different. "Hey Al, are you sure you're alright? From before? You've seemed different ever since we found you and I just want to make sure."

"I told ya, I'm fine." He replied nonchalantly. "Don't worry about me."

"Then why aren't you upset?" The Canadian asked causing the other to stiffen, as if caught breaking the rules. "This is our parents' house but you seem completely apathetic. Why aren't you sad either? They're probably dead. I can smell the rotting in this house so why aren't you worried like me? Do you even care?"

"Fuck... Listen, it's not what you think Mattie-"

"Don't call me that!" Matthew shouted as he felt hot tears streak down his grime covered face. "That's what Alfred called me but you're not him. You're a shell... Why did you lie?"

"I didn't wan't you to feel sad. I didn't want you to look at me like that. I woke up and found out corpses were trying to eat me and then I meet a group of people who apparently knew me but you guys didn't find what you were looking for." Alfred looked at his dirt and gore stained palms as he felt an unfamiliar pain in his chest. "All of you look at me like a murderer. A thief who stole your brother from you and refuses to give him back. I found a journal in the bag I woke up with that belonged to your brother. I couldn't stand the way I was being looked at so I read it. That's why I told you I remember. I'm sorry."

Matthew absorbed everything that he had been told in silence as he wiped his face. They had been treating this Alfred like a criminal but he was still as human as the real Alfred. "And you would always say I apologize too much... Alfred, even though it wasn't right that you lied to us I understand why you did. You're still human and I think I forgot that. We don't have to tell anyone for now but you should act like yourself."

"Really?" The younger of the twins asked, looking up slightly.

"Yes. It's our fault too for pushing you like this."

"I'm still sorry though. My mind just feels all jumbled up and it hurts. It hurts a whole lot and I'm not sure why."

"It's alright, we'll figure this out. Just act like yourself. There's no need to put on a show for everybody."

Alfred nodded and hugged Matthew. He wanted to cry. To wail out his frustration and sure enough he felt warm liquid run slowly down his cheeks. "'M sorry. Sorry I can't be the person you were hoping for. You were looking and you found me but you found me broken."

"You're still Al. It just makes me wonder if I didn't know you as well as I thought." The two continued to embrace when a groan and shuffling was heard behind them. Matthew let out a strangled cry as he looked upon the familiar yet horribly disfigured face. It was his mother.

* * *

Arthur walked silently, the awkward atmosphere between him and Ivan developing into a thick fog. The scilence was oppresive in its presence and challenged the reluctant companions to break it. It was strangely melancholy that although everything around them was crumbling there was still an eerie beauty to the destruction. People always seemed to make a big deal about the world ending but when it actually happened it wasn't as serious as people believed. Most humans were dead or dying but that didn't keep the sun from rising or the plants from growing. The natural world could care less if another species was going extinct. There were too many humans and now they were all disappearing and the stragglers were being snuffed out one by one like candles. In the end, it was just the natural order of things. Humans rise to power and humans die.

"Do you think this is what mankind deserves?" Arthur asked quietly, almost hoping that it wouldn't be heard.

Nonetheless, Ivan heard and gave reply, "Maybe. It is hard to say whether we deserve this or if it was inevitable. The world is strange. For all we know people can be living their lives as if nothing has happened in Europe and Asia. Or, we could be the only human beings left alive on this planet."

"The world is definitely strange... I just wonder if this is retribution for the sins of humanity."

"That is a way to look at it. As humans we will probably never know the answer." Ivan said as he heard the voice of a young girl. "Do you hear that?"

"It's a voice." As Arthur began to discern what he had heard the voice became silent.

"Hallo?" This was a different voice now. Obviously male and somewhat stern.

"Over here~." Ivan called back with a smile that made Arthur uncomfortable. Surprisingly enough, two people stepped forward and into the street.

"So you are survivors too." The man that he had heard before was now in full view, with broad shoulders and slicked back blonde hair. Standing behind him but peeking out curiously was a brunette girl with hazel eyes. "I am Ludvig und zhis is Felicia."

"Ciao." Felicia said with a smile and waved. "Our-a car ran out of gas."

"Where are you heading?" Arthur asked.

"I am looking for mein bruder." The German explained.

"You are from Germany da?" Ivan asked as he looked over the well built man in front of him.

"Ja,vhy?"

"Does your brother happen to be an albino that goes by the name of Gilbert?"

"You've seen him?" There was a flash of recognition but the stern man kept his emotions in check.

"Da, he is traveling with us."

"Might I meet zhis Gilbert so I can see if it is mein bruder?"

"I don't see why not. The sod does nothing but bother me anyways." Arthur said. As the Brit and Ivan began meandering back to the truck the were followed by their unexpected companions.

* * *

**So here's another update for the story. I had to get over some serious writer's block on this one but I managed. I accept any suggestions to help push me out of my moments of writer's block and feedback is greatly appreciated. To Kyuuchi: I hope you feel special since I got my butt working on this just for you. Anyways, I enjoyed the comment so leave more, yes?**


	8. Author Note: Please Read

**Important. Please read.**

Sorry to inform everyone who has been enjoying this story but after thinking through on this story and where I want it to go I decided I might scrap this story. However, if I do delete it I will rewrite and make sure to avoid the the problems that I faced with this one. Please let me know what you think via review or PM. Sorry that this is short but I would really appreciate anything anyone has to say. Author is lame and apologizes for being lame.


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